Birth (First) Parent Grief & Loss

Birth Mother's Day - 2nd Saturday in May

Websites

Birth/first/original parent specific

• Adoption Unfiltered - birth mother, adoptee & adoptive parent together-led
• Birth Parent National Network
• Birth Parents by National Council for Adoption - assorted resources
• Birthmoms Today
• Celia Center Birth Parent Support Groups - FREE!
• Circle of Hope - for birth mothers of children with FASD
• Life After Placement - serving parents who have made adoption plans for infants only
• Sit Knee-to-Knee Program
• Weaving Threads

Grief related

• Ambiguous Loss - Pauline Boss
• Grief - David Kessler
• What's Your Grief? - articles & resources for many types of grief

Recommended Books or Articles

• Adoption Grief & Loss [Feelings to Expect] by Considering Adoption
• An Adoptee’s Message to Birth Mothers by Adrian Jones, adoptee
• After Parental Rights Are Terminated, Mothers Find Support in One Another by Lydia Moran
• Are We Living in 'Grief Limbo'? How to Cope With Ambiguous Loss? by Beth Tyson, kinship parent - author in ORPARC's library!
• Birth Fathers: In the Shadows of Adoption by Belonging Network
• Birth Mother Grief by Grief & Symphony
• Birth Parent Grief in Adoption by Meshan Lehmann
• Birth Mother Grief: Understanding the Grief of Adoption by Adoption Birth Mothers
• A Birthmother's Journey (as told by Hope O.) by Carrie Goldman, author in ORPARC's library
• Birthparent Issues of Grief and Loss by Adoption Advocate
• Emotional & Psychological Effects of Adoption on Birth Mother by Adoption Network
• Finding My Place in the Family by Elsa, birth parent
• Forever Grieving as a Birth Mother by Jacquelyn B, birth parent
• Grief & Loss Coping Strategies for Foster Parents Factsheet by Washington DSHS
• Grief Silverstein Article by Deborah Silverstein
• Is Anyone Out There? Finding Support as a Birthmother by Adoption Advocate
• Reminders of Encouragement by Birthmoms Today
• Support group helps moms with terminated parental rights cope with grief & loss by Andy Steiner, MinnPost
• Understanding Birth Parents: Grief & Open Adoption by Adoptive & Foster Family Coalition
• What Ambiguous Loss Is and How To Deal With It by Cleveland Clinic
• What's Your Grief? - some relevant articles below and more on the site
  • Addressing Chronic Avoidance of Grief
  • Ambiguous Grief: Grieving Someone Who is Still Alive Part I and Part II
  • Cumulative Grief AKA Overload
  • Disen whaaat? Understanding Disenfranchised Grief
  • A Grief Intensified. A Grief Sidelined. A Grief Forgotten.

Culturally specific

• The grief of Native American mothers whose children were separated from them by Ashley L. Landers
• Native American mothers whose children have been separated from them experience a raw and ongoing grief that has no end by by Ashley Landers & First Nations Repatriation Institute, Sandy White Hawk (Sicangu Lakota)
• Talking About Race - an ORPARC Resource page
• Transracial Parenting/Cultural Diversity - an ORPARC Resource page

Videos & Podcasts

• Adoption Unfiltered (videos + transcripts) - triad authors in ORPARC's library
  • Adoptee-Centered Relationships: What's Needed from Adoptive Parents & Birth Parents
  • Birth Fathers & Adoption
  • Problematic Behaviors of Birth Parents vs. Problematic Behaviors of Adoptive Parents
  • Adoption Constellation Round Table: "What is hard about adoption?"
  • What We Have Learned with Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth parent), & Lori Holden (adoptive parent)
• Birth Mother Stories in Adoption by Jeanette-ically Speaking, adoptee - author in ORPARC's library (videos)
• Creating a Family Podcast
  • A Panel of Birth Moms Talk About Adoption
  • Understanding the Child Welfare Experience from the Birth Parent’s Perspective
  • What Birth Moms Wants Adoptive Parents to Know
• Creating Positive Relationships with Birth Parents by The Honestly Adoption Podcast - authors in ORPARC's library
• Twisted Sister Podcast - for Birth Mothers by Birth Mothers
• Understanding Grief & Loss by Bethany Adoptions (video)
• We don't move on from grief. We move forward with it. by Nora McIrney, TedTalk

Note on language: Opinions and awareness on positive, respectful or honest adoption language and terms continue evolving. Best practice? Ask the individual themselves what they prefer.