Assisted Reproduction, Surrogacy & More

New forms of assisted reproduction and the terms that describe them continue evolving. Whether surrogacy, embryo adoption or donor conception, or even in vitro fertilization (IVF), each can be complicated to explain to children and others. Assisted reproduction used to be kept secret. Today we know that children conceived through donors and other means can have the same questions, thoughts and concerns around identity—including grief & loss—that adoptive children do. When young adults receive surprise DNA results, it can understandably trigger big reactions. The gold standard guidance? Center the child; share their story openly, often and early with them! Please reference our Adoptee & Foster Voices, All About Me, Grief and Loss, Infertility & Pregnancy Loss Grief, Life Story Work, and Talking About Adoption, Foster Care & Other Hard Things pages for more resources.

Websites

All Things Donor Conception - UK based, created by donor-conceived person & parent
Donor Conceived Community
Donor Sibling Registry
Glossary by VARTA
Right to Know - many resources!
US Donor Conceived Council - a voice for donor conceived people

Recommended Books & Articles

Assisted reproduction-related materials in ORPARC's library

10 Things Donor-Conceived Children Want Parents To Know by Lisa Schuman
Ten Things Parents of Donor Conceived People Need to Know by Lindsay Harris, donor conceived person
Ask a Therapist Column by USDCC - many articles by donor conceived therapists!
Discussing Donor Conception with Your Child by The Sperm Bank
DNA Testing Part 2: What To Do When You Find Out Unexpected Information by BPAR
Explaining Donor Conception in Assisted Reproduction by Adoptive Families
How Do Individuals Who Were Conceived Through the Use of Donor Technologies Feel About the Nature of their Conception? by Burke et al
How does Assisted Reproduction affect family relationships? by IVIRMA
How to Discuss Donor Conception with a Toddler by USDCC
How to Tell Your Kids They Were Born Using IVF by International Fertility Law Group
Meet the second generation of children being born through sperm donations by Rebecca Puddy
The Psychological Impact of Assisted Reproduction (ART) by Mental Health Academy
Telling Children, Families & Others, including Adult Children by VARTA
When children are told they were born via assisted reproduction can affect outcomes, study finds by CNN

Culturally-specific

Dealing with Disclosure vs. Cultural Values by USDCC
Mixed Feelings: Lessons from the Multiracial Donor-Conceived Community by Max Tang, donor conceived person
Talking About Culture & Identity - an ORPARC Resource page

Videos & Podcasts

Assisted Reproduction: a short educational film by UCL
Everything's Relative Podcast by Eve Sturges
How to tell your child they're Donor Conceived by VARTA (video)
I was born from surrogacy and I am now fighting against surrogacy by Olivia Maurel, surrogacy born person (video)
Identity Theft - How I discovered my secret identity TedTalk with Albert Frantz, donor conceived person (video)
My Donor Story: The Series by My Donor Story (videos)
Three Makes Baby Podcast by Jana Rupnow
When and How to Tell My Child Their Conception Story by Creating a Family Podcast

Featured Favorites!

The Family Book by Todd Parr

A Kids Book About Donor Conceived People by Taylor Hovish, donor conceived person

A Kids Book About Surrogacy by Kira Chesak, surrogate

My Re-Birthday Book: This is My Story: for adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE, who are misattributed, or who’ve had a DNA surprise by Kara Rubinstein Deyerin

Immaculate Misconception by Gwen Bass